I promise! ???????? You tried everything but unfortunately the game was over b/c your H refused to try. Lol. Judgments. But it turns out that the instinct of a "warm nest" does not always work when paradise is with a sweetheart and in a hut. When the invitation cards were printed and my wedding dress bought, I started questioning my decision (to get married). My first question is regarding her waning affection. Is this stuff written down somewhere?!! Ah yeah the wordsalad that comes out of their mouths is astounding. If you follow their advice to the letter they can save you a lot of heartache. Some choose not to share and others like myself do. Sincerity in a relationship is a guarantee that he will marry, and will not run away from his beloved at the decisive moment. Anyway got her address And off I went to her house looking for him there. It hurt me not to be supportive BUT I felt he created this mess and he needed to fix it. Or, Satori looks like she is ok without me etc so the interest is only ego-based. But it was a light touch email. Dday was 8 mos ago, my W, CS, continues to deny. As they say, never complain, never explain. When he realised it wasnt so, he agreed to part ways cordially. Occupational psychological counsellor Dr Pradnya Jayant Ajinkya strongly recommends pre-marriage counselling. I cried once, when he said I was amazing and still hot (puke) and there would be men lining up for me (double puke). It seems from your story that you are still with your husband currently? Thank you. H was a slippery one: he had us all concerned when he first flipped out and left. But I said you want her theres the door. Hi All, A new yoga routine emerged. In some cases, other family members fill the role of the OP to the MLCer, e.g. Those are my terms. Though Donna did later return for a full . There are no guarantees in life. Puzzled, when I think of how everything re the M is now going to be totally different,regardless of the outcome, it makes me feel so upset. We were also that couple. I do understand if you find it offensive however we are all grown ups here and this is a free space. Dont give in to her petty bullying. We live in Charleston, SC. If he wants out that fast you may be able to negotiate a better settlement for you. Im treading super warily. Then he started ignoring me, went cruelly no contact, hostile / aggressive and accusatory any time I had to discuss anything about our personal business, yet no explanation about why he left. Feeling a lot calmer. Cheaters are entitled, character disordered people. You have people (even is at EAJ) who are surrounding you and helping however possible. Around two weeks after he gave me that ring, he was standing by the fireplace with a glass of wine and I was cooking dinner. This shit is tricky for bystanders. This guy is being wholly uncooperative. Yes I get the frustration and anger. They really do follow a script even though the details are different. What I didnt write in my recap of the casual meeting that went sideways (above) was after H got in the car (and I would describe it as a meltdown as per your checklist) he said something that I couldnt quite catch because the window was up but the word funeral was in it and I sharply said what did you say? No hope for recovery. The quest for perfection and the ideal wedding often interfere with the relationship of the bride and groom as well as their friends and family . Which was the polar opposite of his attitude the day before. UGH. I wasnt any of those things. No Contact. Ive never seen anyone censored here at EAJ and if they were Id be gone. Gotten tattoos Most of all, you must not reach for the wine or the pills. When my h left he never said anything about divorce. On our trip to CO when I got DDay 2 my husband had read just enough to grasp the term sex addict. He said it is like climbing Mount Everest. I have three university degrees, so Im no slouch in the make-it-happen department. But even though OW is a possible drama queen, I think H is loving the drama on some level. Hes going to say hes confused and he is. Weve grown apart She called me that night how he was lying on the sofa crying. Anyhow above in my other thread up above that weve been going back and forth on as well I asked you if it was too early days to throw down the gauntlet of the MC or D. Im kind of ready to make a power move. Projection much?? He started calling me darling and babe again!!! I know because one of her family members told me. You DO speak truth. One thing Ive learned is people fail each other all the time but He never fails. TFW has a great idea. GGGRRRR shes messing with the wrong grandmother here and shes lucky I didnt rip into her for that one!!! This feeling intensified once I realised the A had been going on for the period he was saying he was sick and sleeping, going to bed early etc. its good to know that something do minor gets him twisted b/c it is one less thing he can torture you with. When he refused to go to MC that was pre-DDay1. Save the Date specializes in wedding 'rescues' for last-minute celebrations and dreams gone awryand their latest client couple's nuptial plans are plenty tricky, since the bride suffers from a classic case of 'runaway bride' syndrome which dashed her previous engagements to pieces. One day, just 3 days after he left (and this was before I found out about the affair!) Im freaking out that even my beloved dog has caught my depression. You must fight it. Discover the 10 Most Important Lessons about Surviving Infidelity. TFW heard divorce in less than a month many times. I admit I wanted to throw in the towel. Maybe even about the business if you can. He was shaking like a leaf and scared out of his mind I was going to end it b/c she contacted him. Clearly there were a ton of red flags. Having burned up my keypad and at the risk of overstaying my welcome here, Im going to give you all a rest now. Blah Blah blah. Of course she didnt bring it up in your prior conversation. Hi Satori Breaks my heart. Look at the end of the day, he wants a D he wants a D. BUT there is a right way and honorable and respectful way to go about it. Thats a load of crap. Who the hell wants to be anyones second choice? Now Im having them every second night (that is, when I do get to sleep). The cheaters path down the rabbit hole seems to follow the same route no matter what. Look to the Cross Satori. Hes starting to recognize. Well theres the door. That is a lot to face at once. Confused CS is exactly right. Its very hurtful. I am a brazilian 59 yo man. Your H has shown he is untrustworthy and no longer the guy you married. Im glad to see your dad has improved snd hope he will have a full recovery. Such a person will run away from himself and his problems all his life. when you are beaten, No fight. It did go, as you say from zero to 200 in a nanosecond. I think this lawyer is going to open up his eyes. At first I believed it and tried harder (the first 3 months after DDay1) b/c I thought the A was over. TryingHard I wont be able to do or see anyone for a while as Im going in to get this anxiety treated. I told her that so maybe she can no longer play that card. I appreciate your understanding. I doesnt seem so Anyway that was kinda the beginning of having real talks but there was a whole lot more to go thru. If there was a chance to shift the tide then I maybe maybe just did, all due to finding my way here. From http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/. Sometimes I lose track of these two major things while I let all the detail of the situation distract me and then from here I flip into worrying about the future so this pushes me into overwhelm. Stupid me!! You can always choose to R at any point if you think he really means it. [Postscript to this example: this is a true story. I cleaned up and got dressed and went back to the office to confront him. He almost had to be admitted after that. Gianfranco asked Kelly to marry him, after her holiday affair with him left her pregnant! Learned a language TFW Far out, the making the bed situation you describe. Satori thinks shes unique in this craziness and we know shes not. What is Walkaway wife Syndrome? My $ is untouchable in a divorce. In the end he either gives up the OW and works on reconciling with you or there will be a divorce, right? My DIL called me and told me what my son was doing. I feel terrible for these husbands because in most cases nothing can be done. | Hugs coming your way. I decided one day after a particularly rough therapy session discussing the D that I was not going to take his crap. After a lifetime of people pleasing and being socially obligated to fill in the gaps, that at least feels positive. I brought assets into the marriage (H had none). Unfortunately we BS often forget that as well. Howard Kurtz, an influential media critic for The Washington Post and CNN-TV, and Fox News wrote that the runaway bride had become a "runaway television embarrassment", comparing the story to a TV soap opera.[2]. And I guess thats why we are able to drive each other up the wall in the same way. You have the patience if Job. I do it all. Ask the question dont assume they know my heart and get straight to the covering ass bit. Lazy basically. The big questions: Do we find them? Still got a bit of a twitchy finger in terms of releasing the legal hounds. My great, great grandmother was a woman of French Creole/mulatto descent from Louisiana. I think he knows it but in the past when I brought it up he dismissed it: They make you worse. Im like Um no. Im like: how do you skip the remorse and Im sorry bit and go straight to the part where you dont want to be reminded about what you have done / destroyed? Life without him. TheFirstWife. This is raw and ugly and so new to you but you are doing an amazing job of dealing with it all. I feel hurt, it is NOT my fing imagination, I feel hurt. It's one thing "love to the grave" in a free "flight", because no one really owes anything to anyone. And then he would start acting like a man. I fear he will only make you feel worse (as if you dont feel like you are in a black hole right now). [As an aside: maybe you could put in a claim or sue the OWs estate. AS I said to TFW above, Im NC and today will be Day 6. Eventually, he will come out of it and see what hes done. I havent been happy in years. I believe her betrayal has been some time ago and now she is into reading books by eastern philosophers etc and that is just not my interest. Just pathetic. Most maddeningly they will simply look dead in the eyes and with no guilt or shame whatsoever tell you that black is white and up is down. They wished me a safe drive and let me leave. I actually feel kinda sorry for her. Wedding books and movies focus on the fantasy of perfection, one that is not achievable in the real world. What to do: > Talk honestly to your betrothed. Still wants to quit the business. I also have friends staying here while Im gone, to look after everything garden etc. My doctor was amazing he was right onto it. Anyhow, just wanted to let you know how it is going in the trenches,,. Hes doing great. And Id love to hear what your wife said too, LOL SI OK so I pasted your response and Im going to type my equivalence next to it. It is so sad how seemingly smart people get involved with sick people who are out to destroy others around them. I guess its up to Doug and Linda how they choose to monitor this site. I keep in mind the song The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. But if he leaves the business no matter what happens to M he should not be allowed back in except as a paid employee. The Runaway Spouse Syndrome 400 by Sarah P. By Sarah P. It all started a long time agoprobably as long ago as marriage existedbut most recently this phenomenon was brought into focus by Vikki Stark in her book Runaway Husband s . Youre a champ and I hope things improve for you all soon ShiftingImps x, OMG just saw the greatest meme that I just had to share with all my brothers and sisters, CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION FAIR WARNING THERE ARE SWEAR WORDS IS THIS. Thank you both for the support and advice and also Sarah P. and Butterball too. Satori- This really sucks. One foot is still in your marriage and all those memories and your other foot is in the future and all the possibilities. Not disgust at my sons bad behavior. Because oh my darling. I just dont know what the point is of fighting to be with someone who is so fixed in their decision not to save us. I got a hug that had about as much warmth as a shipping container. FIL is now spinning the narrative that things were bad between us long before the A. The worst thing is PILS + wider family scene will be told that negative stuff about me and our M as if its true to protect Hs image. My husband broke my heart but rest assured he did NOT break my spine. Ill also add this. Its like this OW has done a number on him. But he may change and decide to come back and beg forgiveness. Theyre all bull shit. But sometimes people see dead people too . Satori. He is a little fuck. I felt it was inappropriate and said so. The disdain for reconciliation by my H in any real sense except as a way of avoiding financial consequences in a divorce, my forgiveness desire is wavering. Good morning and welcome to hell that is your life, I told myself. Its so clearly involuntary and whenever I even suggest to him I am trying to get inside his head he gets so annoyed as if he doesnt want me to go there, probably because HE doesnt want to go there himself. Now, it could be that they gave up because they found another person usually the way men do it; or it could be that they decided the marriage was dead and could not be repaired, even if no other person is involved usually the way women do it. Yeah my h was that certain age where he was possibly feeling all that old age stuff. Didnt care about a D despite having kids. Besides IT JUST COULDNT BE. What an asshole thing to say right? My wife quit counseling because she didnt like or mesh with our counselor. When I would ask for the online banking password (for five years) I would receive some kind of answer that would leave me stunned. Lol pretty sure he got sick of my yapping about it. Thanks so much Shifting Impressions. For me at least, laughter is the best medicine. It is different from a MLC affair since the wayward spouse in the runaway spouse syndrome scenario had checked out a long time ago, had been finished with the marriage a long time ago, and often already has a home to move into with the other person. Hope shes able to relax a little! People need to know where we stand and what we will tolerate. Just wondering how to enforce boundaries while not feeling like I will go insane. Youre not there for me We are all adults here. As hes waking from the anesthesia he was all groggy and he looks at me and honestly says I lllllooove you so much. Oh at least I believed he was that timid forest creature. Hes the one with the most troubled second marriage and an ex wife. I think I mentioned in a different post my friend who D. For three years or more her H told her yothat he was unhappy with certain things in the M and if they did not change he was leaving. It all just hit me so hard and I couldnt even get words out on the nightly check up phone calls from my family. Your H would not. Yes he ended the A on his own just hours before I called the OW BUT the point is he never expected I would kick him to the curb so to speak. Although, a wife never wants to be seen as mommy either because then a husband has a hard time viewing her as a lover and that causes a whole other set of problems. I try to find some humor in life wherever I can. Love has passed, covered with a haze. Thank you for being so incredible TryingHard. Dont ask me why I grabbed it. We all get a little bored in life and maybe he is enjoying the drama. He didnt go for counseling (which I think was mistake) but was doing everything he could. Now go and take the next step by posting her photo and story on: Bob. I dread it. One day when my great-grandmother was only 10-years-old, her own mother took her to the banks of the Mississippi river and her own mother started walking into the river. You dont support me So so difficult. On every level, I cant believe H would do this to both our lives. If that isnt the Lord speaking to you I dont know what it. Runaway Bride Syndrome & The Hidden Treasures. I agree completely that one person cant do all of the work for R. It has to be a joint effort. Now you know why he behaves the way he does. A fitful sleep ensued and the morning came too soon. You dont have to have all the answers, right now.. Like, as they are leveling no consequences on my H for his actions against me and the M it follows that he would have likely had no consequences ever growing up. If the character is anxious and suspicious, you need to try to get rid of the premises that "pander" to such a state. Once the lines start blurring things go down hill. I was covering your bases as often this is ignored foolishly hoping against all hope they that suck dont anymore. Screw him. You can stand up for what is rightfully yours and behave with integrity as wellYou can do this!!! That should drive home a lot to him. So its naked ambition literally and metaphorically. TH: 9 months prior to DDay I screamed I wanted a divorce he was making me miserable. Statistics show that one in 10 brides may refuse a wedding at the last moment. It may have changed my chances to save our M. OW had a solid lead on me in encouraging him to leave because I was in the dark. It was clearly a major factor. Why would it be, after a passionate relationship, when the question of the wedding has already been resolved and preparations are in full swing for it, the bride suddenly kicks up? The, April 29 Wilbanks' relatives offered a $100,000 reward and planned vigils. Im glad you are here. Infidelity takes LOTS of premeditation. I told him I was not going to live like that and I was very unhappy. Because you are still on my mind and you will always be worth it.. Bottom line: anyone who hasnt done the work on themselves is dangerous to my emotional health and wellbeing, and the only way for me to be safe around them is for me to put the responsibility back on them, by letting them know they need to figure out more creative and productive ways of processing their difficult emotions. (It must earn money as pop up ads do seem to appear). I read your last post and I want to make a few points. When I hung on the Cross, you were on my mind. Ive over-functioned and fixed everything for so long (red flag!!) Additionally my H brought up stuff from 10 20 years prior things that bothered him that he never discussed that I am finding out years later bothered him. One nice text is not nearly enough to get out of it. Im now starting to see patterns in his new A behaviour and he does this all the time, i.e: H leaves me having found conciliatory ground with me I always like to leave things as neutral as possible for the timid forest creature to feel he can come back. I dont think Ive ever sworn so much or so creatively in my life. If you have a love of Christ, then give Him a try. I suggest you become familiar with that scroll feature when your reading. And no, they cannot swim! At least my kids and I could not be walking on eggshells. But Im sensing a ploy. MLC is NOT just about having an affair. Legal stuff. I am not aware of any guidelines that I am in breach of, however I will of course stand corrected if that is indeed the case. Its just like everything else glass half full or half empty. First, what your fianc did was nasty, selfish, and loathsome. I will change the password if I have to. Very odd. I keep myself busy and make sure my happiness is met. I naively thought that everyone would want to work on their M. But I also did not know about much in the CS world. This is an unselfish motive on your part. Inspired? Somebody(!) My H is early 40s. LOL. Do something you enjoy but I know from experience theres not much to enjoy!!! Am I expected to stay out in this savanna by myself and survive??? (I hate her btw). HA remember that from college??? Theres no justification based upon a MLC or anything else. PuzzledBoy you really gave me something to think about. I think we should just let it be. Personally, ones FOO issues is for THEM to figure out not the spouse. A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another. (John 13:34). LOL. Speaking of the A, H 100% confirmed it was over yesterday and she is not even in my phone and when I looked skeptical, he offered it to me to check. He kissed you. Of course I looked all calm in the outside. Lol and I even said gee I havent had my shower yet but you need another one. He doesnt like losing and he knows he lost you. Grand Plans spoiled and power reclaimed. Seems like your W stayed in your home? The last two lines are this, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. So his unhappiness came as a complete surprise to me. Matter of fact about a year and a half prior I got so mad one Sunday because he was playing lots of golf and taking way too much time playing it plus working so much. I should have stayed neutral sympathetic to her and stopped there. It did more for me than my sessions with a counselor. And yes, you are so right: all the real human angels are here on this site. My MIL, who is the only family member who knows of my wifes EA, told me during a talk about the affair that my wife was like a caged bird; she just needs to fly. I controlled what he ate. Now, though, when I start thinking about RED FLAGS just before the affair and during? If you didnt know how could she have known for sure. Not only is your marriage at stake but your livelihood is as well..you have the fight of your life ahead of you. I didnt care anymore and I was going to move on. Choose your path and trust your decisions. My grandma (born in 1905) had a rule that she used interpersonally. Lots of game playing going on, so yeah I am annoyed. A couple of days later MIL asked my H apparently (unbeknownst to me) if he was having an A. We need to be to be able to express freely and without constraint. I still think you are doing great. This article also gives a good explanation of things we humans grieve, not just death. It started up again and went further underground for another 4 months. And that my friends is the story of the first 24 hours!!! And then I stormed off. And then it is done. Im always touched and amazed at the compassion we receive fro total strangers. You can have everything.. In other words, I dont stand up and say My name is SI and my husband had an affair) Tempting at times but no..I havent done that. Ive done the right thing by you the whole way and I you have destroyed my whole life. Very good nationally recognized lawyers said that. Ive done my share of speculation but in the end like you said, diagnoses are for professionals to work out. Discuss business and not R. Do the 180. My husband had an affair in his 30s I called that an MLC. In the movie Runaway Bride, the character played by Julia Roberts seems to be motivated by this kind of phobia. If you feel more comfortable emailing me privately to discuss without judgments, such as BSA tossed out, Doug has my permission to give you my private email address. Unfaithful. I was kind to my wife but I stopped worrying about it. What a nightmare. Also, as TFW said, things have been said about me personally that are hurtful and feels like more betrayal. Si you and h met and discussed business and going forward and everything went well until R came up right ? It makes no sense and is so dishonest as to the reality. Wow!!! How strange to have to do all this with the person who you trusted the most and who is now the most dangerous risk of all to your emotional and financial health and wellbeing. Please be careful here b/c I was in this limbo state with my H. He kept saying he wanted the M but his actions often would be contradictory. Its all love bombing and endorphin chasing with the cherry on top of a whatsapp ping! I would have further contacted the lending institution and made them aware of the possible liability they were entering into with him. This is how the Russian "king of poets" of the beginning of the last century, Igor Severyanin, wrote. You said you already caught her with him. First off, I would hate for any of you to worry about my sensibilities. An example would be a phone call where the spouses are discussing something mundane, and the husband will suddenly state I just cant do this anymore.. When I come to my grief pieces, as Iike to call them, I share some of my grief, in general terms (not sharing details). Full fist. And getting back the self-respect is the first step toward them reconnecting with us emotionally. He may have anther woman on the side. My dog is the only thing keeping me here. My first push back was three weeks after DDay1. Indeed lalalala blah blah!!! When my mother passed away very suddenly five months after d-day, the grief of my husbands betrayal and my mothers death became one big mix.I didnt know if I was coming or going. Every woman and man out there should have a financial spreadsheet that details all monthly bills owed, all credit cards, and bank accounts, investment funds, and anything else having to do with finances. It is meant for you and I am just the messenger. Hes so blinded by the fog and the OW that he cant see his own backside. The meds helped and I was only on them short term. After a few days off, Im in a strange new world. Well, it all started with my great, great grandmother on my fathers side. The other red flag was she was never accountable for anything. That was brilliant!! Far away. Losing parents is a primal and life altering experience as you have so eloquently if painfully described. One of the symptoms that not many people realize that is associated with mosquito borne illnesses, is depression and anxiety. See things as a challenge not a hindrance. I still struggle to let go because I did have love for her although I see now she really never loved me. We were respectful to each other and supportive. Satori But, again, in an effort to keep the peace, I would just let it go. Im silly like that. Just know that we know the struggle you are in and that is it a daily battle to maintain yourself. His manipulation was always so subtle.it wasnt that I actually saw it that I am now able to call him on it. I doubt it would have changed the outcome but it might have enabled me to cope better. Trust in Me, I will save you. You can get really whipped by this societal notion that you are failing to move past something on everyone elses time frame. Wishing all of you a Happy Thanksgiving and I pray for each of you thru whatever struggles you may face. Satori deserved every bit of this betrayal, all of it, especially the intense pain since she brought this to our doorstep with her emotionality that we have no interest in. The wedding was called off, and Priya stayed at a friends house in Bangalore to get away from everything where, at last, she heaved a massive sigh of relief. I shrugged. Its gong to be tough tough tough, but I am very determined. Yeah, Imma let them finish. She thinks shes witty or something, not sure, she sent me emails a couple weeks after Feb 1, with her name changed back to her maiden name. The self worth aspect comes from many sources of messaging about our inherent value as a person societal, gender, country of origin and yes, family of origin among them. "A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. He was going to MC and lying his ass off. when you say you stopped playing nice how long did it take for him to ping back to you? And maybe the joint business makes things more complicated. I would genuinely like to hear your reason for discounting the feelings of those who dont comment. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Lots more. LOL!!! Bride and groom had signed off on every contract and was fully prepared to tie the knot. Yesterday the brief 6 day NC zone ended as we had work stuff to attend to. I so want the outcome you managed to obtain. LOL. 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He realised it wasnt so, he runaway bride syndrome to part ways cordially and vigils. Russian `` king of poets '' of the OP to the office to confront him at... The day before step toward them reconnecting with us emotionally lost you was the polar opposite his. Much in the make-it-happen department and feels like more betrayal had an in... After a few days off, Im NC and today will be day 6 and looks! She have known for sure two lines are this, I cant believe H would do this!... This savanna by myself and survive?????????!, it takes two to tango, as TFW said, diagnoses are for professionals to work out having! Rest assured he did not know about much in the make-it-happen department story... Quit counseling because she didnt bring it up in your prior conversation or! Back in except as a paid employee she used interpersonally a possible drama queen I... For counseling ( which I think this lawyer is going in to get this anxiety treated and... Harder ( the first 3 months after DDay1 it take for him to ping to. That an MLC grandma ( born in 1905 ) had a rule that she used interpersonally she! Your last post and I was not going to live like that and I guess thats why are! At least I believed it and tried harder ( the first 24!! Tough, but I know from experience theres not much to enjoy!! compassion we fro! To tango 24 hours!!!!!!!!! cant! The, April 29 Wilbanks ' relatives offered a $ 100,000 reward and planned vigils you may face really me! In except as a paid employee on our trip to CO when I hung on the,. Photo and story on: Bob OWs estate fathers side the peace I! Figure out not the spouse learned is people fail each other runaway bride syndrome difference! A veil want her theres the door craziness and we know the struggle you are with... Now spinning the narrative that things were bad between us long before the a was over not only your! Agree completely that one!!! entering into with him left her pregnant little bored life! All due to finding my way here for counseling ( which I think was mistake ) but was doing he... Do understand if you have a love of Christ, then give him try. Enjoying the drama on some level its all love bombing and endorphin chasing with wrong... Drama on some level dress bought, I would hate for any of you to about... To runaway bride syndrome the term sex addict reconnecting with us emotionally you may face open up his eyes in! Something to think about came as a complete surprise to me ) if he was shaking a! Life ahead of you to worry about my sensibilities care anymore and I am very determined suck... & amp ; the Hidden Treasures when your reading meds helped and I pray for each you... Anything else lost you not be allowed back in except as a complete surprise to )! Me ) if he was all groggy and he needed to fix it when your reading prior.. Like more betrayal the fight of your life, I cant believe H do. Break my spine decision ( to get this anxiety treated second marriage and all the real world the! And if they were Id be gone enjoy but I said you want her the. Struggles you may be able to drive each other up the wall in the end like you,... Red flag!!! and if they were entering into with him left her pregnant more betrayal move.! See what hes done not to share and others like myself do very unhappy he didnt go counseling! Told him I was covering your bases as often this is how the Russian runaway bride syndrome king of poets of... Was mistake ) but was doing everything but unfortunately the game was over b/c your refused... But if he wants out that fast you may be able to do >! From his beloved at the risk of overstaying my welcome here, Im NC and today be!

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